Marriage diplomacy

After Sunday school, Kolya's aunt Tatyana beckoned to me and told me to come sit with her. I slid over, and she said, "So, how is Kolya to you?" "What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly (she has been trying to convince me to marry a Russian--more specifically, Kolya--since we first met). She asked what I thought of him again, and I said, "Oh, Kolya's great, he's really nice and a good guy." She's nodding and asks, "So, what's going on [aka why are you not dating yet? or possibly, why aren't you married and having kids together yet?]? You don't like him?" Just as I say, "and he's funny." Which she took to mean that's why we weren't dating. I told her it was funny in a good way--he has a good sense of humor, but then to answer her question I say, "You know, he has a girl friend..." "Oh, really? Oh, well, do you have any prospects back home?" I told her I date fairly often, just hadn't found anyone yet that I like that way.

This prompted her to explain how I needed to go about getting married. Really, bare with me on this one. So she says, "Here's the problem. You're thinking of what kind of a husband you want, and about who will make you a wife. What you need to do is think--I want to be a mom. Then you'll realize that's what's important anyways. We're here to have families, right? So just think of it that way, not about what kind of a guy you need. Then you'll get married." Oh, so that's what I'm doing wrong. Here I've been thinking I should marry someone I like being around (Yes, this thought was dripping with sarcasm, even though I was only saying it to myself). I said to her, very diplomatically, "Well, I know it's bad to be too picky,"--a vigorous nod of her head--"but it's also bad to not be picky enough." "You're right, you're so right," she says, "there should be something in the middle."

Just when I think we might be making progress, someone else comes up and wants to talk, sees we're talking and starts to walk away. "You probably want to know what we're talking about," Tatyana calls out to her. "You think it's a secret, but I'll tell you. We were talking about her dating Kolya. But she says he has rejected her." Wow. No need to start rumors (which I didn't write about, but there has already been speculations about this with the young women in the different branches that Kolya and I are something because we talk--horrors!)--"I did not say that," I say. "Okay, he didn't reject her. He's dating someone so it couldn't work out. But don't you think we need to find her a Russian husband and make her stay forever?"

This kind of talk was to continue for the rest of the day. Like when we ran into a cute girl on the way out of the room. This girl somehow didn't think that was a good idea, however, so Tatyana felt the need to say, "Well, those Americans take ours, why don't we take one of theirs?" "Return evil for evil?" the girl said. "Not evil--it's good diplomacy--that's what she's studying, what better diplomatic relations than if she marries one of ours? Keep a good, close connection. For example, my dad's Ukrainian, my mom's Russian, so I can't hate the Ukrainians. It's a good plan!" Not one of the most diplomaticly-stated reasonings I've ever heard, but I guess it's sound. lol I tried to quickly get us out of this conversation and suggested we head off to the last class of the day.

I also have to add that she took this opportunity between classes to tell a prominent guest in front of a group of people that he "has great sons--better than you are," to which he agreed and said that it is every father's wish for his kids to be better, to which she said "And they're good looking. You're just old." I think all of us were so shocked we couldn't say anything. I tried to throw in a "we think you're great," (thinking telling him he was good looking would make us all feel even more awkward as he has a wife) and hustle her out of the room.

I also somehow got strong armed into going for a walk after church, even though Irina (her sister) and Sergei were trying to take me home. "I should really go with them, that would probably be best," and "I'm in high heels, this might not be such a good idea," somehow didn't work. So much for trying to politely decline. So I ended up wandering around the city in my heels. Don't get me wrong, it was very nice of her to invite me, I just was not in the mood to go wandering around. I had kind of been looking forward to a nice relaxing Sunday afternoon.

A family ended up coming with us (the walk had somehow turned into a visiting teaching lesson, and I had to side step some very awkward questions Tatyana asked me that would have been better directed to a bishop or stake president--this hasn't happened in any of my other visiting teaching experiences, so a random first). The family was so cute, though and I am excited to see them at a picnic we're having Saturday! We ended up walking to a couple different cathedrals--one where Putin supposedly goes, and then to the Turgenev library grounds. A beautiful day, so I can't complain too much.